Fall of Knight by Steven Cross
*I received a PDF ARC version of this from a giveaway on LibraryThing.
**This will also be posted on Goodreads and LibraryThing.
In Fall of Knight we follow Dean and his troubles with life and his mental illness. Our eyes open up and as we hear his voice we hear the voice of a broken boy, of a troubled teen, of someone who has monsters that live in his mind and his writing and his life. We learn how one might think and see the world when diagnosed with a mental illness, how they never really know what to do with themselves.
I'm being honest when I say that the content of this book really got to me. Because sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, I feel like Dean does, or like his sister does, and never have I gone through anything like either of them have and so while it makes me feel guilty it also makes me love this book all the more. And so to connect with them was both slightly triggering and a whole lot fascinating.
I also realized though, that sometimes we never really fully realize what’s happening to the people around us when we’re still young, even in teenage years, because we are too absorbed in ourselves and being what society thinks we should be and our own problems that we face. I think maybe we just make ourselves believe nothing is wrong because we don’t want to know that others are hurting and that our world is as dark as it is light. And I think this because in the book, Dean knows his sister is hurting -heck she was crying!- but he was pissed at her and his bipolar nature allowed him to walk away and let her cry because he had his own problems to deal with and although he was able to sleep when she got home and he knew she was safe, he still didn't go up to her and ask why she was crying, and what could have possibly happened. And you can't really blame him either. I don't think you'd really understand why unless you read Fall of Knight yourself. And I suggest you do.
Or maybe not, because not everyone is okay with reading about drugs [they're prescribed to help him but still], and alcohol, and death and suicide and how mental illnesses might affect how one views the world. But even so, maybe you might be okay with this one. I myself loved it, I adore it actually, because of how real and raw it is, but honestly if it's not for you, then it's not for you.
But aside from that, the writing was brilliant, and even while some might find Dean's creativity sometimes weird or creepy or disturbing, I loved it all. His character, all the characters, were real enough and all had their own personalities and their own feelings and not once did I feel forced to read and I never felt like the story was dragging or that maybe it was going too fast. I rather enjoy that even by the end, Dean isn't cured, because honestly, there isn't a cure for a mental illness, there's just pill that dulls your insanity. At least,t hat's what I took from reading this. And it makes a lot of sense too.
I love the twists too, and how what is revealed at the end is a shocking discovery that actually leaves you wondering how you never saw it coming. There were so many hints, about it and it never clicked, but that's great because in no way was this story predictable and I love that. It was just brilliant, and although this book is officially being published tomorrow, I already can't wait for more.
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So, that's that. I didn't really know how to properly word this, but whatever. it's good for now. d:
~Sage
